Pearl
by gLeekedOut
Summary: She let herself become a victim, she let a man abuse and degrade her, why? She knew the answer to that, Jesse told her no one would like her for anything other than her talent, she foolishly believed him and stayed with him out of fear. Until her savior steps up and saves her, in more than one way. Based on the Katy Perry song. WARNING: ABUSE SELF HARM & SMUT! MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERS!
1. Summer Before Junior Year

_**A/N: This is the re-write of Chapter One! I have renamed the story and I am in the process of editing the other chapters!**_

_**I have changed Finn to Jesse as most of the reviewers said that's who they wanted. **_

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

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><p>The summer before her junior year Rachel Berry thinks she has it all. She has the guy of her dreams on her arm, a professional vocal coach, and a grueling dance instructor-one that could rival Coach Sylvester when it came to perfection during rehearsals. She has to keep everything up to par because in 2 short years she will be off to New York City, pursuing her dreams of being on a Broadway stage. She can't very well just sit around and let her vocal chords go unattended, there's so much work to be done if she was going to make it big. It's been a great summer so far, Jesse always takes her out at least 4 times a week, if her lessons allow. Once he took her to the park and serenaded her with a cover of The Doors <em>Hello, I Love You<em>. Her favorite lyrics always hint at how beautiful he thinks she is and who much he loves her. She's not used to hearing it much with Jesse being only her second real boyfriend, after Finn, but every time he says it, she gets butterflies in her stomach.

_She holds her head so high _

_Like a statue in the sky _

_Her arms are wicked, and her legs are long _

_When she moves my brain screams out this song _

He looks at her with so much love in his eyes it makes her smile the million-dollar smile she's so famously known for. Unfortunately for others who can't tell the difference, it's her show face, the one she uses when she's acting. The one she's spent months perfecting to keep her secret. Life is always perfect for Rachel. Perfect family-although she has two gay fathers, perfect house with the perfect daughter who makes perfect grades. It's all perfect; her life can't get any better now that she has the perfect boyfriend to top everything off. Until the 4th of July party she attends with Jesse and shesees his true colors for the first time.

_He is drinking of course and had gotten up from his seat on the couch they shared to go refill his cup. She doesn't condone drinking and she never will. Ever since that incident last year at her house and the performance they gave the next day, she hasn't touched alcohol. She swears she can still smell Brittany's vomit in her hair and she gags at the fainted hint of it in the air. She's sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for him to return. Parties are not really her type of thing, she'd much rather be watching Funny Girl with her dads in the Oscar room. She taps her fingers nervously while she waits and wrinkles her nose as she watches her colleagues drunkenly grinding against each other and make out. She doesn't understand why they find this appealing, it's degrading to her and she wished Jesse would hurry up. _

_She's sipping from the bottle of water she brings with her when a footballer from a different school approaches her. She can tell by the letterman jacket he wears, which now reeked of booze that he's an upperclassman, probably the quarterback if his size indicated anything. He sits next to her and tosses his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close to his large frame._

"_I'm sorry do I know you?" Rachel asks slightly irritated that he's so forceful._

"_No baby, but I know how we can get to know each other," he leers, leaning in to whisper in her ear. She starts to lean away from him in an attempt to get up from the couch when he holds her down with the arm he had tightly around her shoulders._

"_I have a boyfriend, I'm going to have to ask you to remove your limb from my shoulders please," she states proudly, she loves the way the word _'boyfriend' _falls from her lips and she smiles softly before trying to remove his arm from her shoulders, more forcefully this time._

_Across the room in the kitchens doorway stands Jesse. He has his back to them, so he can't see her face or hear what she's saying to this guy. All he sees when he turns around is Rachel grabbing the guys arm. He thinks she's enjoying the jocks arm around her and that's when he looses it._

_Walking up to them he grabs her and leads her out of the noisy house party and to his Excursion._

"_Drive." he spits at her pushing her to the driver's side before walking around to the passenger side and getting in. She's still confused and shocked at his sudden outburst, she was only defending him after all. She shots him one last confused glance before__getting in and hesitantly starting the car._

"_Where are we going Jesse?" she questions as she pulls off the curb and onto the street._

"_Your house" he says tightly. "Are you really that dumb Rach?" he knows that her fathers are out of town this weekend, not that they were in town often anyways._

"_O-Ok, what has you so angered?" she stutters, looking over at him at a stop sign, she sighs and shakes her head when she gets no answer. This is another reason she hates alcohol, it prevents people from making clear decisions and lowers their inhibitions. She can tell it's going to be a long night with Jesse._

_She's barely pulled into her driveway when he throws his door open, gets out, and slams it shut. She follows him to her door, unlocking it and leading him inside. She frowns when he stomps behind her, making it a point to show that he's angry with her. She honestly has no idea what is wrong with him and she refuses to try and reason with him while he's intoxicated. She can already feel a headache coming on and she wants nothing more than to curl into her comforter with a hot cup of herbal tea. _

_She jumps when he slams her front door shut and narrows her eyes as he walks on her pristine carpet with his muddy shoes. She's just about to scold him for not respecting her property when she's met with a harsh and rather surprising slap to the face. She falls to the ground and holds her stinging cheek, looking up at Jesse with tears in her eyes._

"_W-what was that for?" she nearly sobs. She wants to cry so badly, her cheek is burning and she can practically feel the bruise forming on her delicate skin, but if her daddies taught her anything it's that she has to stay strong. Crying was showing weakness and she would not let Jesse over power her in his drunken stage. She pulls herself onto shaking legs and looks into his dark eyes, still cradling her injured face._

"_You don't think that I didn't see you flirting with that douche?" he yells, slamming her against the wall next to the door. "Did you think I wouldn't catch you flirting with someone else Rachel? How could you do that to me? How could you let him touch you like that? Don't you love me?" he screams as his fist makes contact with her upper torso._

_She gasps and hunches over, yelling out as the pain spreads throughout her entire middle section. Tears burn at the backs of her eyes, threatening to spill over. She has to stay strong; she can't let him see her cry like this. He's not himself right now, she reasons. It's the alcohol that making him this way. Jesse would never hurt her, he loves her and she loves him. This isn't real, this isn't her Jesse. Her Jesse would know that she wasn't flirting, her Jesse would trust her and never question her actions when it came to other guys because their love was special and nothing could tarnish it. Her Jesse would understand. _

"_Excuse me, I was certainly not flirting with him Jesse. He was trying to get me to sleep with him and even after I told him about you, he wouldn't let me go" she panted, her eyes squeezed shut in pain and she hugged her abdomen tightly. "I was trying to remove his arm from around me, I didn't want him touching me, I don't want anyone touching me but you, Jesse!" she yells once she's regained her breath. She knew that going to this party was a mistake; she's ashamed that she's even in this position. That she's letting her boyfriend abuse her because he's feeling a little insecure. She's stronger than that, she wants to tell him to leave but she can't. She needs him here while her dads are away, she hates being in this huge house alone and she loves it when he holds her at night. He makes her feel so safe and warm._

_He doesn't buy her excuse and his fist hits her again, sending a loud crack through the air as it slams into her jaw. She falls backwards again, this time hitting her head against the tiled floor of the foyer they were still standing in. She holds her face in her hands, feeling her now split lip swell quickly as if it were going to burst. She looks down at the blood on her hands and whimpers before looking up at him with a horrified expression, silently begging him to stop._

"_Shut the fuck up! I know you liked it!" he says, hovering over her, "Anyone that gives you the slightest attention you run to it like you need it to live!" he spits in her face. "Pathetic little Rachel, nobody loves you but me, understand?" has asks as she nods her head. "You're mine, no one else gets to have you but me. No one else wants you, but me! Look at you, you're disgusting! You have no friends, Rachel. Your own dads can't stand to be around you, that's why they're gone so much" he yells. _

_He glares at her in disgust before finally standing back up and walking upstairs to her bedroom, _

"_Are you coming?" he screams back down to her. She's still lying on the floor stuck in a state of shock over what's just happened. She jumps as she hears him from upstairs. She quickly gets to her feet and stumbles up to him, wincing as he body moves through the pain. _

_He's already under the covers of her bed half asleep when she makes it upstairs. Her entire body aches and she's hurt that her boyfriend's acting this way. She knows it will not happen again, he loves her and he was just too drunk to realize what he did. She knows she he'll forget this by morning and that they can pretend it didn't happen. She needs Jesse in her life, he's the only thing she has. He was right when he said she was disgusting. She's a loser and she has no friends. She's a freak and everyone knows it. No one wants her but Jesse, no one appreciates her the way he does. No one ever compliments her voice or applauds her solos, they always bring her down and try to break her. Jesse never did, he always tells her how talented she is and how she'll be a star. He's her biggest fan and her number one supporter next to her dads when their home._

_She toes off her shoes, and slowly makes her way into her en suite bathroom to change. She looks up into the mirror and suppresses a sob when she sees the reflection. She lightly touches her bloody lip and grabs a towel to clean the wound. She can already see the bruises starting to show. _

_Leaving the bathroom she climbs into her bed and turns to face away from Jesse. It's not his fault he got angry, it's hers. She's a selfish diva who no one will ever want. She's ugly and stupid and it's all her fault. She wants to be a better girlfriend, Jesse deserves a better girlfriend._

That particular event had occurred almost three months ago. She has now become a perfectionist when it comes to covering her scars and bruises. Using tattoo makeup to hide the bruises and lots of concealer for her face, she looks like a normal happy teen. Her fathers don't have a clue what's going on, not that she tells them everything anyway. Jesse has already threatened her and she knows she can't tell anyone. In one summer she went from the most annoying, headstrong, and determined lead vocalist in New Directions to a scared shell of herself. She continues to attend her dance and vocal lessons and she gives her all. She smiles through the black eyes and bruised ribs and she laughs despite the constant pain she's in. She's determined to make it big and with all her hard work, she knows it'll happen. She wakes up every morning and plasters on her show face and acts her way through the day. She already has the lies formulated, so when someone asks her why she's wearing a long sleeve top in the middle of May she won't look stupid. Playing the role of Jesse St. James's girlfriend/punching bag is her most challenging role yet, and she intends on acting the part perfectly.

She never goes out without Jesse by her side. If she does it's with Kurt, who he knows is gay and will not hit on her. It's the only reason he allows her to go with him.

Since Jesse had insisted on spending every night at her house when her fathers were gone, they hosted many Gleek parties/sleepovers. The girls were the only ones allowed to stay the night though, he didn't trust Rachel. She was a greedy little slut who would probably fuck his best friend if given the chance.

GleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGl eeGleeGleeGleeGleeGlee

Puck's summer is amazing so far. His pool cleaning business is going great and he's banging cougars left and right. He gets shitfaced almost every weekend because he can and goes to most of the "Gleek" parties that Berry and St. Jackass host at her house. All in all it's a pretty fucking awesome summer!

It's at one of these so called "parties" that he notices something different about the hot little brunette. Her studies her hard before realizing she's wearing jeans and a sweatshirt instead of her normal short as fuck plaid skirts and animal sweaters. Not that she didn't doesn't rock this new look because she totally does. Her ass looks amazing in those tight jeans and her sweater's exposing cleavage he didn't know existed, but it just isn't… Berry. It catches him off guard to see her wearing this, so he worriedly asks Finn if she's okay.

The tall boy only mumbles something about changing up her style and making her closet bigger before walking away to get another beer. Puck has no idea what that means, but he does know that something is going on with Berry. Whatever he shrugs, she's not his so he doesn't care. Only he does care, and he wants her to be his and he can't shake the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach when he sees Rachel limping the next day.

The week before school starts, the gleeks meet up at Breadstix for lunch. Everyone is there laughing and having a good time but Rachel.

"Yo anyone seen Berry?" Puck asks, making it seem as if he doesn't care where the fuck she is. It's not like her to not come out with her "friends" if they could be called that.

Everyone mumbles and shrugs that they don't know. Puck notices that Finn and Quinn have become really close over the last few weeks. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head before jumping in on Brittney, Santana, Artie, and Matt's argument over the best Michael Jackson song.

GleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGleeGl eeGleeGleeGleeGleeGlee

She stays home from the lunch with the rest of the glee club today. She has fresh bruises from last night because she didn't make Jesses' dinner right and she can barely walk without a noticeable limp. She worked really hard on that dinner and he just threw the food on the ground, after he had thrown her on the ground and kicked her a few times, demanding take-out since she apparently 'can't cook for shit'.

She's become an expert with hiding the marks, but her bloody nose is just too much to cover and she can't hide it. It swollen and purple and no matter how hard she tries, she can't help but stare at it. It's the part she hates the most about her body and it hurt that he's stooped so low and found new ways to torture her. He knew she wanted to have lunch with the gleeks; it was her chance to prove that she really belonged, her chance to prove she was worth something and has the potential to be their friends. She was desperate for them to like her.

Plugging her iPod into its dock, she turns on Stone Sour's _Made of Scars_. She found the lyrics online somewhere and can relate completely.

_Yeah, Cut right into me  
>Yeah, I am made of scars<br>Yes, I am made of scars_

God, Don't you believe it

This isn't what her 'normal' genre choices consisted of, but she has acquired a somewhat new music choice as of late. She runs a bath before getting out the hand cloth from under the sink that has her razor wrapped in it. She lifts her pajama shorts up to where she had various other scars and makes the first cut of the night. She breathes deeply as she feels the rush of pain wash over her body, it feels amazing.

She starts cutting two weeks after Jesse hit her. It's the only pain she can control in her life. With this, she has a say in who gets to hurt her. No one controls her, but herself when she cuts. She's free of Jesse, she's free of her continually absent fathers, and she free from all the bullies at school. After making 4 slices on her upper thigh she gets the bleeding to stop and sinks into the bath water. She hisses as the water makes contact with her open wounds, but relaxes as the nice hot water dulls.

The tears she lets silently let fall down her battered face are not from pain, but from sadness. When had she let herself become a victim? When did she let someone dictate her life? When did she let a man hit her? She knows the answer to these questions; it's the night that she and Jesse got in another fight, the first of many this year. After beating her to a pulp, he crouches low to her and whispers darkly in her ear, _"No one likes you Rach, not even your precious Glee club. They only tolerate you, I'm the only one who can even stand to be around you."_ With that he stood up and left her in her room to go play Xbox in her father's den.

After spending half an hour in her now cold bath, she gets up dries off, and crawls into bed. "Tonight's a good night" she thinks to herself, Jesse couldn't come over, his mom demanded he stay home the 3 days before school to get back in habit of sleeping in his own bed. Cassadra didn't like the idea of her teenage son spending so much time unsupervised with his girlfriend, but when she found out the girl's parents were gone for most of the summer she practically insisted that Jesse stay with her.

Rachel's dads were finally coming home. They always make time to stay home the first week of school to hear about her new classes. They only comment once on her new wardrobe choices, claiming that the new attire made her look more grown up and more sophisticated. She remembers the first time they see her that skirts had been thrown in a box in her closet, she laughs at the compliments they gave her. Not to their faces of course, but after they had gone to dinner she sits and laughs at them. They have no clue what's really going on in their daughter's life, nor do they seem concerned.

The night before school starts, she kisses Jesse goodnight on her porch as he gives her a final warning. Leaning down to her ear he whispers, "You better not even think about telling anyone about the real reason you stopped wearing skirts. If you do, next week will be hell, I know your dads are leaving next Monday. Don't make me hurt you again Rachy." With that he kisses her forehead, and leaves her standing on her porch alone and scared.

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><p><em><strong>So how did you guys like it? I know not much has changed and I think it will change more as the story progresses.<strong>_

_**Im changing the update day for this story to either Wednesday or Friday, which would you rather have it?**_

_**Please check out my other story They Saved Me, its a Grey's Anatomy fic but I think you guys might like it! **_

_**Please leave some reviews, ideas and constructive criticism, please no flames. I have had enough to last me a lifer time with my other story!**_

_**Thank you!**_

_**Jacque :)**_


	2. The First Day of School with Jesse

_**A/N: Heres the second chapter!**_

_**I thought I'd give you guys two in one day since I have been a very bad author lately with this story! I hope you like the slight changes I've made in these chapters!**_

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

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><p>On the first day of school Rachel walks hand in hand with Jesse, who had surprised her that morning with the news of him transferring to McKinley. Her show face is in full effect, smiling like she's just been complimented by Barbra Streisand herself. As soon as they round the corner of the hallway, Jesse drops her hand but stay within reach of her, he doesn't like big displays of affection. Rachel's face falters for a fraction of a second before her show face is back in action. She can't let anyone know something's going on, she doesn't want anyone to see the pain that Jesse is causing her because she deserves it. She's lucky no one pays attention to her, unless it's to shot an insult at her. No one notices the way she winces with every step or how just standing upright seems to be causing her pain.<p>

People do however see her new look. They notice the slight wave in her brunette locks and the thick makeup covering her face. She has to keep every bruise completely hidden or Jesse will kill her...literally. She has on a thin long sleeve deep blue V-neck shirt, dark wash skinny jeans that hug her curves perfectly and blue ballet flats to match her shirt. The guys stare at her like she's just walked out of a magazine, the girls-mainly Cheerios, glared in jealousy of her new look. Jesse walks off to find his locker and organize his things for class. When she gets to her locker, Kurt and Blaine, who transferred to McKinley this year also, run up to her gushing over her new look.

"Oh my Prada, Rach you look smokin'!" Kurt exclaims looking her up and down, "When did you decide to get all hot?"

Rachel forces a giggle out, "I just thought that my former attire might be a bit juvenile and over the summer I realized that I needed to dress more my age," she lies, "While my skirts were not disapproving for my age, the sweaters and shirts I wore were."

"Well Rach, you do look astonishing, if I may say so myself." Blaine compliments.

"I agree!" Kurt nods, he quickly tells her that he has class on the other side of the school and has to go and will see her at lunch. Blaine is with her in her first period math, but walks Kurt to his class first instead of walking with her.

As they are leaving, Santana, Brittney and Quinn walk by her. They have to stop and do a double take to make sure it's really Rachel Berry they are seeing wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt. They turn around and walk over to her, all three with questioning looks on their faces.

"Damn RuPaul, you actually look human!" Santana says crossing her arms, while Brittney nods in agreement beside her.

"Yea Man-hands, I hate to say it, but nice outfit." Quinn starts, "It looks like something I would wear, and that's saying something."

Rachel looks at them and nods a polite thanks. The Cheerios mutter an excuse about being late and walk off in the direction they were headed and turned the corner, leaving Rachel at her locker alone again.

Puck spots her and his jaw damn near hits the floor. No way was Berry wearing jeans to school! He'd seen her wear them over the summer, but he thought it was just a phase and that she'd be back in argyle by the time school started. He shook his hard and discreetly adjusted the tent forming in his pants, those weren't just any jeans. They clung to her body in just the right places making her look fucking fine! He makes his way to her locker and leans against the one next to it, a sly grin on his face.

"Damn Berry!" he leers. "I might have to drag you to a supply closet later" he only half jokes.

"Hello Noah, I assume that was meant to be taken as a compliment towards my new attire?" she asks as she closed her locker and looks up at him.

"I only understood half what of you just said B, but you look hot so it's ok," he shrugs.

"Well, thank you Noah, but I have to head off to class now" she says, gathering her bag, "I cannot be late on the first day back. I assume I'll see you at Glee Club today?"

"I guess we'll both find out after school" he winks and walks off down the hall to the nurse's office for his morning nap.

"Berry's sure looking hot today!" Puck thinks to himself. If she wasn't dating St. Douchebag he'd be all over that. Not that her new look makes a difference, something about her makes him want to grab her and lock both of them in a dark room for hours. Her legs go on for days, her hair falls just above her boobs in little waves, and the rack she has is fucking perfect! No, her boobs aren't large, but they're a good handful, at least they look like it. Hers are probably the only pair he hasn't felt before. He shakes his head to rid these thoughts, he can't like crazy Berry.

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Her first period is AP Math. She's glad to see that some of her fellow glee clubbers are in the class with her. Tina, Mike, Artie, and Blaine have all taken up the back row and there's only one extra seat. Now normally she'd sit front and center, to be seen better when her hand is raised, but she has friends now or at least acquaintances with the glee club so she decides that sitting with them would be better than sitting alone at the front. She takes the seat next to Blaine who has Artie on his other side, next to him is Mike then Tina. They exchange hellos and as the late bell rings class begins.

Her day continues and she learns that she has at least 3 people from New Directions in all of her classes this year! After math, she has History with Santana, Matt, Quinn, Puck, Sam, and Finn. She hasn't had Jesse in any classes yet, but it's still early.

Third period she has English with Puck, Quinn, Finn, Brittney, and Mercedes. Home economics is right before lunch. That's the class she finally sees Jesse in and she has Brittney, Santana, Mercedes, and Kurt to keep her company as well.

At lunch she sits with the original gleeks near the back of the cafeteria. Finn, Puck, Matt and Mike sit with the jocks at one of the front tables while Quinn, Santana and Brittney sit with the other Cheerios next to the jock's table. Jesse is sitting with some of the drama club at their table. They Cheerios gawks and point as they talk about Rachel's new look, what they did over summer, and who was single and who isn't. Rachel gets up to get a bottle of water to go with her salad. On her way back, Karofsky and Azizmo approach her and dump a slushy in her face, laughing at how she'll always be a loser no matter how hot she is.

"Welcome back freak!" Azizmo laughs as the footballers walk away. She stands there speechless for a near thirty seconds before calmly walking back over to the table, ignoring her friends, grabbing her bag, and running off to the nearest restroom as quickly as her bruised legs will carry her.

Once inside, she locks the door and stood in the mirror. As she slowly strips her clothes and got her replacements out, she sings quietly to herself.

_Everyone thinks I have it all_

_But it's so empty living behind these castle walls,_

_These castle walls_

_If I should tumble, if I should fall_

_Would anyone hear me screaming behind these castle walls?_

_There's no one here at all, behind these castle walls_

_Nobody knows I'm all alone living in this castle made of stone_

_They say that money is freedom but I feel trapped inside it all_

_And when I sit so high up on a throne I wonder how I can feel this low_

_On top of the world is beautiful but there's not place to fall_

_Everyone thinks I have it all_

_But it's so empty living behind these castle walls,_

_These castle walls_

_If I should tumble, if I should fall_

_Would anyone hear me screaming behind these castle walls?_

_There's no one here at all, behind these castle walls_

After she finishes changing and making sure her makeup looks flawless she heads off to her last three classes. She's a little upset that Jesse didn't defend her against them, but she's not exactly surprised either. She's a freak and freaks deserve to be slushied no matter how wrong she thinks it is. Her last class before glee is French with Kurt, Blaine, Quinn and Jesse. She finds it hard to focus in her classes today, not just after getting her first slushy facial of the year, but in all of her classes. The ibuprofen painkillers she had taken that morning were starting to slowly wear off and she can feel the pain from the punches she's taken a couple days ago returns. She's sure some of her ribs are bruised and she has another black eye, and more bruises on her abdomen, but it was worth it. Jessed held her close afterwards and whispered to her, telling her how much he loved her. He gave her a warning to not tell anyone at school and threaten to hurt her if she 'disobeys' him, or doesn't do something to his standards.

Finally it's time for Glee and Rachel is so excited. Her ribs hurt badly, but she can't wait to perform for her peers. Singing is her escape, next to cutting. When she's singing she can forget all the bad things and get lost in the music. It's one of the reasons she loves Broadway so much. She can be someone else, someone great when she's acting. She can forget about her pathetic little life and become that person.

She's truly ready for glee club this year. She hopes they do well and possibly get some new members. Nothing will look better on her NYADA application than a first place win at Nationals. She can't wait to sing in front of an audience again.

She had picked a song last week she was going to sing for Noah. She loves Jesse, but she also knows what he is doing is unacceptable. She needs someone to help her without telling them blatantly that she needs their help. She's confident that her song choice will at least spark something in the football player, well she hopes at least. Rachel knows that it will be Puck who does something about it. Actually any of the guys can help her, she'll take anything she can get, but she really wants Puck to be the one to save her. She's always felt a connection with the self-proclaimed badass and every time she has a nightmare about Jesse, Noah is always there to save her. She thought at first that it was weird that Finn, her ex and once long time crush, would come to save her, but after the third dream she realizes that she is truly over him this time. She knows she shouldn't expect anything from him. They've never been friends, but something about him makes her feel safe. When they dated last year he would hug her and if felt like nothing could touch her. Everyone assumed that Puck dumped her, but the truth was she was lost in the thought that Finn was her perfect guy and broke up with Puck for Finn. She regrets breaking up with him, but doesn't regret the relationship with Finn. It helped her see that she loved the idea of him and the Finn himself. She regrets falling for Jesse everyday now.

"Hey guys!" Mr. Shue walks in and greets them, "Welcome back to Glee club! I hope everyone had good summer."

Rachel raises her hand and hears more than a few groans behind her, "Mr. Shue, if I may, I have a song I'd like to perform." She says confidently, her show face in full view. Her insides feel as if they're being tied in knots and her throat is dry. Her ribs are aching and it hurts a little to breath, but she has to go through with this. It's her chance to get out.

Will gestures to the middle of the room, "Uh, sure Rachel floors all yours." He goes to sit on a stool off to the right while the room turns to face Rachel. She stands and pops a CD in the portable player and hits play. The music begins to play and she's met with eleven confused faces and one very angry one. Brittney smiles and nods her head because she knows the song, the others however do not.

She looks right at Jesse and sings the first verse to him.

_The night is deafening when the silence is listening_

_And I'm down on my knees_

_And I know that something is missing_

_Because the back of my mind is holding things I'm relying in_

_But I choose to ignore it because I'm always denying them_

_I'm a bit of a manic when it's not as I plan it_

_Cause I start losing my head then I get up in a panic_

_Remember, when we were kids and always knew when to quit it_

_Are we denying a crisis or are we scared of admitting it?_

_I don't want to know_

Rachel moves her gaze from Jesse to Puck as she starts the chorus. It's now or never, she hops he can understand what she's trying to tell him. That anyone will understand the constant pain she's in.

_I just wanna run to you_

_And break off the chains _

_And throw them away_

_I just wanna be so much_

_And shake off the dust that turn me to rust_

_Sooner than later, I'll need a savior _

_I need a Savior_

Her eyes move back to Jesse and she continues singing, the others just sit there watching and wondering what she means and why her eyes keep moving from Jesse to Puck.

_It will never change_

_If you want it to stay the same_

_I really hate it_

_But I know it's hard to choose if you're chained_

_And when it's all you control_

_Cause you got nothing else to hold_

_You're getting tighter and tighter_

_It's getting harder to let it go_

_I don't want to know_

As she repeats the chorus her gaze once again finds Puck, he's looking at her like she's just grown another head. He turns back around to Finn to ask what this is all about, but the tall boy is just looking off into the distance. Jesse shoots him a look that screams 'don't even ask' as the former lead singer balls his hands into tight fists.

Her brown eyes once again find Jesse's and she tries to hide the fear while she continues.

_Stand me up and maybe I won't be so small_

_Free my hands and feet and maybe I won't always fall_

She looks at Puck and is met with his warm hazel eyes, full of confusion.

_Save Me_

_I just wanna run to you_

_And break off the chains _

_And throw them away_

_I just wanna be so much_

_And shake off the dust that turn me to rust_

_Sooner than later, I'll need a savior _

_I need a Savior_

When the song ends she quietly moves back to her seat, never looking at anyone.

"Well, that was, new" Will states slowly, "So Quinn, Brittney, Santana, you girls said you had something in mind earlier?"

"Yes Mr. Shue, we heard this song over the summer and thought we could use it at sectionals." Quinn answers as the trio makes their way to the middle of the room. The band begins to play the opening chords and the girls start to sing.

(_All,_** Quinn,** Brittney, **Santana**)

_I'm hell on heels_

_Say what you will_

_I done made the devil a deal_

He made me pretty

**He made me smart**

**And I'm gonna break me a million hearts**

_I'm hell on heels _

_Baby, I'm coming for you_

This diamond ring on my hand's

The only good thing that came from that man,

Got a G.T.O. from one named Joe

And a big piece of land down in Mexico

I'm hell on heels

Baby, I'm coming for you

**I got a pink guitar**

**A Lincoln town car**

**From ol' what's his name I met in a bar**

**Got a high rise flat in Hollywood**

**From a married man who wasn't up to no good**

**I'm hell on heels**

**Baby, I'm coming for you**

**Then there's Jim I almost forgot**

**I ran him off but I took the yacht**

**Poor ol' Billy I'm still using his credit card**

**I'm hell on heels**

**Sugar daddy, I'm coming for you**

_I'm hell on heels_

_Say what you will_

_I done made the devil a deal_

He made me pretty

**He made me smart**

**And I'm gonna break me a million hearts**

_I'm hell on heels _

_Baby, I'm coming for you_

All three girls smirk as the song ends. "Girls, that was great!" Will praises, "I will definitely be thinking about using that song at Sectionals." He smiles as the girls go back to their seats. As Mr. Shue started lecturing them, Jesse bends over to Rachel and whispers lowly in her ear, "We need to talk after glee don't move" before straightening back up and continuing to ignore the teacher. She stiffens in her seat at the chill in his voice. She should have known this would be a bad idea, she's going to be punished for this and she can't help the tiny sob that escapes her throat when she thinks about what's going to happen once they get home.

No one but Puck notices Jesse's face during the performance or the way he tightly grips her arm when she sits back down. Puck is staring at her so hard that he can feel his eyes burning holes in the back of her head, hoping she'll turn around so he can see if she's okay. He doesn't like the idea of St. LittleDick and Rachel together at all. It's partly because he has a little crush on the diva and wants her for himself, but something doesn't sit right with him when it comes to those two. He watches them interact closely, noticing how she shifts as far away from him as possible, while his arm is wrapped around her shoulder. He wants to say something, but it's not his place. He's already fucked up his friendship with Finn and he doesn't need any more drama, but the way Rachel is shaking isn't right, nor is it normal. He gently kicks her chair with his worn out boots, hoping she'd turn around, but it never happens. Her body stays stiff and her gaze stays forward, even when Shue dismisses them to go home.

He stands up and grabs his stuff, ready to go home for the day. He looks Rachel over one last time, noticing that Jesse also looks as if he's not going anywhere soon. He figures that they need some time to talk before he takes her home so Puck leaves without giving it anymore thought. He doesn't need anymore heartbreak in his life. His father left when he was a child and he's already had his daughter taken away, he doesn't need to get hung up on some girl who doesn't even give him the time of day.

As he walked towards the door he looks over his shoulder at Rachel who is fighting to hold back the fear in her eyes. She is tiny so he assumes that a lot of things scare her. He shrugs it off and walks out towards his truck. He knows something's wrong, but it's not his place to care. She's not his girl and she never will be, not while she's head over fucking heels for Jesse St. James.

As soon as Puck leaves, Rachel feels her heart break. She'd tried so hard to give him a message-to give anyone a signal that she needs help. She's screaming inside for Puck to just stop and look at her. _Noah! Please help me, Noah! Can't you see how terrified I am? _When he looks back over his shoulder and shrugged, she knew it was over. It's as if she can feel the wave of pain she's about to get. She knew that if Puck walked out that door, she was dead. She waits patiently for everyone to leave, trying not to cry. Her body has so many bruises already, she doesn't know how much more she can take. She's sure that she's going to die tonight. There's no way around it this time, she has royally fucked up and now she's going to pay. She tried to save herself, she honestly thought that Noah would care, that he would have seen how much pain she's in-how much she's suffering. But he didn't, no one did. The one person she had counted on let her down. She's officially has no one now, she knows that her and Puck weren't friends, but he's always cared. She _knows _he cares. So why didn't he help her? Why did he leave her here to die? She comes to the conclusion that she hates Noah Puckerman. If she dies tonight, it'll be his entire fault. She closes her eyes tightly and waits for it, she knows it's coming and she's already accepted it.

"What the fuck was that about Rach?" Jesse yells.

"I-it was j-just a song," she says, visibly shaking in her seat as he paces the floor in front of her.

"Bullshit Rachel!" he slaps her, "Did you think I didn't see how you were looking at Puck? You sang right to him! I'm your boyfriend Rach, you don't sing to anyone but me, got it?" he spits, fury evident in his booming voice.

She cradles her face and nods, "Y-yes, I unders-stand" she whimpers, "I'm s-so sorry."

He grabs his bag, "Let's go" he demands as he walks towards the door. She quickly gathers her things and follows him out to his car. Perhaps if she does exactly as he says, he'll spare her meaningless life. But then again, dying doesn't seem like such a bad idea at this point. At least if she's dead, she won't be in pain. It's not like anyone will miss her anyway.

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When she gets home, she tells her dads all about her day. "Everyone really adored my new image, dad!" she looks over at Leroy, her larger African American father. "I received multiple compliments throughout the day on my attire, daddy!" she beamed at Hiram, her shorter Jewish looking father.

"We're glad your first day was wonderful Star," he daddy starts, "but I expect with your advanced classes that you have homework correct?"

"Yes, sir. I'll get started on it right away" She smiles and kisses them both.

"Thank you Rachel, we will call you when dinner is ready." Her dad calls after her as she climbs the stairs.

When she gets to her room she sets her bag on her bed and pads to her en suite bathroom. She laughs a little when she pictured Jesse's face when he flung open the door, only to be met with Leroy's dark figure. He had forgotten that they stayed home the first week of school.

_He'd dragged her out of the car by her hair and forced her to the door. She'd cried and pleaded the entire way, begging for him to stop. He was raging over the glee club incident and accused her of cheating on him with Puck. She knew it was pointless to argue, but she had to defend herself. She was just about to explain when Leroy opened the door and she rushed into his arms. She hid her face in his sweater and allowed his arms to wrap around her. Once she was sure she was safe, she quickly dried her tears, gave Jesse a quick kiss goodbye, and ran inside._

She's standing in front of her bathroom mirror in her bra, her face contorted in disgust as she looks at her battered bruised body. Each bruise is a symbol of how weak she is, how ugly she is. Each marks reminds her of how much she isn't good enough. She reaches into the cabinet and pulls out her shiny silver blade. She's running out of space on her thighs, the angry pink lines criss crossing each other in order to make room for the next one. She lifts the blade higher up to her stomach; she'd promised herself she wouldn't let it get this bad. She said she would stop after the first few times, but she can't. She needs it. She unwraps the razor and digs it into her stomach to make the first cut. To get her release.

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><p><strong><em>Well leave me some loving and ideas please!<em>**

**_Ill get the next chapter out on the day that gets the most votes! Just comment on the first chapter with either Wednesday or Friday to choose the update day for this story!_**

**_Lots of Love,_**

**_Jacque!_**


	3. Heavily Broken

_**A/N: Here it is guys the new chapter three! I hope you all like how I actually cut the old chapter in half and made that half chapter four and added onto this chapter. It took me all week to finish it. I just got done editing it like five minutes ago! **_

_**Please leave me more reviews! I have a few Guest reviews Id like to address here:**_

_**Guest who pointed out some name misspells; thank you for seeing that I spelled Brittany wrong. As for Cassadra I intened that to be her name, not Cassandra, but thank you for pointing those out to me!**_

_**Guest wanting Puck to do something soon; I will say that we are getting there. Maybe even next chapter! I dont want this story to move too fast so Im not completely sure, but I can tell you it will be soon! **_

_**As you can see I have decided on Fridays as my update days. I only got two or three reviews with votes, most everyone else just said soon, so I went with what I got the most of! **_

_**Thank you for all of the reivews and please keep them coming! I respond to each and every one of them!**_

__Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.__

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><p>As the weeks go by no one has yet to notice Rachel's strange behavior around Jesse. It's partly because of her impeccable acting skills and partly because no one cares. No one notices that the shiny glimmer in her big brown eyes has completely disappeared. No one cares that she flinches every time Jesse reaches for her hand or goes to put his arm around her. She's all alone, not only in her relationship, but in life in general. Her father's left her alone again claiming that they had an important extended business trip.<p>

It's an ordinary day at school in mid-October, Rachel has started spending her lunches in the auditorium singing. It's not like she has any friends to sit with anyway since she has distanced herself from the other Glee members. Jesse sometimes joins her, if he felt like it that day. He still doesn't acknowledge her in school. Everyone knows they're dating now, including his old friends from Carmel. She hasn't been slushied in a while and she's extremely grateful, she just wishes that Jesse would leave her alone.

Even after weeks go by, Puck still can't get the look Rachel had given him on the first day of school out of his head. She had looked so small and so fragile, and not just because she is. He knows she goes to the auditorium during lunch, so he sits in the back in the shadows one day waiting for her. He honestly has no idea what he's doing, but he has to figure out what is going on with her. He can't get that haunted look out of his head, every time he closes his eyes he sees her broken face and it's killing him. He has to find out what's going on with them.

Today is a rare day and Rachel doesn't come to the auditorium, he does see Jesse on stage sitting in the back. He's just about to go ask him if he's seen Rachel when he sees one of the tall redheaded cheerios walk up to Jesse and sit next to him. They start making out on stage and Puck can't believe his eyes. _He's fucking cheating on Berry! What the fuck! _It pisses off Puck that he is doing this. _Why is St. Jackass cheating on Berry? _The longer he stays, the more upset he becomes and he has to leave before he does anything stupid. Careful not making any noise, he gets up and walks out the back, shutting the door gently. He doesn't know why he's being so quiet, he should have walked over and busted them. Rachel deserves to know the truth; she's way too good for this. He knows that when she finds out, she'll break up with him. Rachel may be forgiving, but he doesn't think they'll make it if she finds out he's cheating.

He's about to go find Rachel and tell her when he stops and thinks. Does he actually _want_ Rachel to break up with Jesse? Yes, and when she does he's going to be there to pick up the pieces. It's so badass when he thinks about it. He'll be her knight and shining whatever. The prince to her princess and he can't fucking wait. He knows it'll take time and that Rachel's going to be upset at Jesse, but fuck if he's gonna let his Rachel get away again. Yes _his_ Rachel!

He goes to the auditorium everyday now, either to catch Finn again or to see Rachel. He feels like he needs to be there, to see her, and make sure she's okay. Every day she sings a sad and hurtful song. It makes him want to run up to her and engulf her in his arms and make her feel better. He wants to punch Jesse in the face, why is he doing this to Rachel, can't he see how much it's hurting her?

Rachel sings her heart out in the auditorium every day at lunch; it's her only other way to deal with the pain. Her cutting is getting worse, her skin is raw from dragging the blade across it, but she can't stop. She thinks about it day in and day out, about how much she can't wait to get home to her razor blade.

She sings how she feels, which is always hurt, sad, and scared. Sometimes she sings for Jesse if he shows up, in which case it would be a love song. She always sings the sappiest love song she can find, one about what a great man he is and how lucky she is to have him. She gives it her all and prays that if Jesse likes it, it might lessen the blow when they're alone. Rarely a day goes by that he doesn't hit her. It's becoming part of her daily routine and she notices that the happier he is, the less he hurts her.

She never lets him see how scared and hurt she is, she'll never let him get that satisfaction. Today she's singing The Veronicas _Heavily Broken_ when Jesse charges in. When she hears him she stops abruptly and turned towards him.

"Hey Jesse!" she fakes a smile, "Did you come to watch me sing again?" He storms up to her and spits in her face, "Shut up Rachel! I just came to make sure no one knows why you changed your clothing choices."

Rachel's smile falls and she takes a small step backwards, "N-no Finn, no one knows" she answers looking down.

"Good" he sneers, "I'm driving you home, don't fuck around after school." Looking at her feet she nods timidly, gathers her things, and allows Jesse to pull her off of the stage and out the doors.

As Puck watches the exchange between the two teens, he can't help but wonder why the fuck Rachel looks so small. Yes, she's very petite and a fucking midget, but the way she shrinks in on herself when she's talking to Jesse makes his skin crawl. He can't hear what they're saying, but he can tell Jesse is pissed. He fights the urge to get up and ask St. James what the fuck is up. Instead he just saunters out of the auditorium and actually goes to class, since he has class next with the two people who were currently taking up residence in his mind.

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After school in Glee, Rachel is sitting in the front row as she normally does when Jesse walks in with some of the others. He sits down next to her and slings his arm on the back of her chair, resting his right ankle on his left knee and sits back to relax after a long day at school. Rachel continues to sit rigidly waiting for the after school program to begin.

Mr. Schuster walks in, "This week is duets!" He announces as he calls them one by one up to get a slip of paper. "Okay, the pairs are as follows; Sam and Blaine, Finn and Quinn, Santana and Artie, Jesse and Mercedes, Brittany and Tina, Kurt and Mike, and Puck and Rachel!"

Jesse is fuming. He does not want Rachel working with another man! "Mr. Schue, couldn't Rachel and I be partners? I mean we are the best in the class!" Jesse boasts.

"No, Jesse. The pairs are final, I suggest you get to know your partner!"

He turns to Rachel, "You can only work with him if I'm there! I don't need to blab to anyone, do I?"

"No Jesse, I understand."

"Good"

They break up into groups and start to discuss what songs they could do. Jesse keeps a sharp eye on her the whole time, barely paying attention to Mercedes and what she was saying. By the end of the meeting most of the groups had an idea of what song they wanted to do, even Rachel and Puck had decided what genre they were picking from. However, Jesse had been paying so much attention to Rachel that him and Mercedes barely said five words to each other. He didn't care, he would just pick a song and she would sing back up like she always does.

As everyone files out of the door, Jesse walks up to Rachel and waits non-too-patiently for her to pack up everything. When she finally slings her backpack onto her shoulder they leave, hand-in-hand. They get to his car and get in, intending to go back to her house since her fathers were on their monthly business trip.

Getting to the house, Rachel didn't know what to think. Jesse had been quiet the whole ride home, but didn't seem upset. His silence was daunting, she didn't know whether to expect a beating or if she could just go in and start her homework.

Jesse pulled into her driveway and turned off the car. Turing to Rachel he smiles, "Rachel, honey, what song did you and Puck decide on doing for this pointless assignment?"

She looks at him in disbelief, _is he really just wanting to discuss the song choice her and Noah made?_

"Um, well, we haven't picked a particular song yet. However, we have decided on doing something from the country genre." She answers softly.

"Oh, ok good. No love songs, got it?" he bites out.

She nods and starts to get out of the car as he does. Walking up to the house, she unlocks the door and Jesse follows her inside. She promptly goes into the dining room and takes her homework out to start it. Jesse follows in her steps as he too pulls out his homework and begins the task.

A few hours later, Rachel's stomach rumbles and they both notice it's around seven o'clock. Jesse gets up the make himself some dinner, a simple sandwich and chips with a soda. Rachel patiently waits for him to bring her something to eat but when he just sits down in his spot again she gets confused.

"Jesse, didn't you make anything for me?" She asks him.

"Honey, you've been looking a little pudgy lately. I'm sure skipping this meal won't hurt, will it?" He tells her condescendingly as he stuffed his face.

She looks down at her flat stomach and sighs, "Oh, um, ok" she agrees as her belly growls again. She gets back to work on her history homework.

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On Thursday and Friday the pairs were supposed to perform. As all the groups went on and sang their songs, Jesse and Rachel were standing off to the side waiting for their respective turns. Jesse and Mercedes were second to last and they performed _Airplanes_ by B.O.B. and Haley Williams. That just left Rachel and Puck. Jesse still didn't know what song they were performing so it came as a huge surprise when the music for _American Honey_ came from the band when they started to dance around each other.

Jesse was pissed, he had told her no love songs and she just defied him. She wasn't going to get away with it for long. As soon as the vote was cast for the winner and they were dismissed Jesse grabs Rachel and nearly drags her out to his car and they head to her house.

Pulling in the driveway he shuts the car off and slams the door as he storms to the door waiting for Rachel who had realized on the way home just how much trouble she was in for her performance with Puck. She hastily jumps out of the car with her stuff and rushes to open the door for him. She knows she's getting a beating today and her body is readying itself for it.

He follows her in and slams her into the door once it is closed behind her. "What the fuck were you thinking Rachel? I thought I told you no love songs!" He screamed in her face. After not getting an answer after a moment he slaps her face and she falls to the ground.

"I-I'm sorry! H-he didn't w-want to do a-any other s-song!" she stutters out through tears.

"Then you should have come to me! I would have talked to him Rach! Now I'm mad at you and you're making me hit you again! I hate when you do that Rachel, it makes me look bad." He blames her as he kicks her in the ribs. "Get yourself cleaned up and make me some dinner. Remember, you're on a diet so just a salad and light dressing for you." He walks away to start his homework, leaving her to get up off the floor and to her bathroom to clean her face which now sport a split lip to go along with her bruised ribs and the knot forming on the back of her skull.

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The next Monday school was almost unbearable for Rachel. When she got done at her dance lessons on Saturday, he was still in a foul mood about Friday's performance and had roughed her up a bit again. Sunday she didn't make dinner on time and so he slapped her and threw the plate of food at her. The plate hit her mid-chest and left a nasty bruise. Thankfully it hadn't broke, because then she would have gotten in trouble for that also.

Thankfully he didn't go for her legs this time so she didn't have to explain a limp to anyone. She is walking stiffly down the hall towards her first period class. As she reaches the door a slushy makes her face its new home and slides down her outfit. She simply wipes her eyes, turns around and walks slowly to the nearest restroom. She slips in and heads towards a stall to change her clothes.

After changing, she brings out two-one gallon Ziploc baggies and places her stained clothes into them before filling them with cold water to soak until she could get them home. When she is done with her clothes, she checks her face to see what she needed to fix. Since she uses theatre style make up, she only had to retouch her eyeliner and powder. Once that is done she gathers her things and heads towards her locker.

She places the bags of soiled clothes in her locker and heads back to her first period. After having to do this for a couple years, she has gotten it done to where it only takes about seven minutes to completely change her clothes and touch up her make up. She walks in and the teacher just tells her to sit at her desk and work on the assignment that is on the board. Once at her seat she starts her work for the day.

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Glee had been cancelled for today. Jesse waited outside of Rachel's last period since he had study hall. When she came out he grabbed her hand then head to their lockers, arriving at Jesse's first he gathers his things and shuts it. When they get to Rachel's she grabs the two bags and her homework from previous classes and they head out to his car.

Getting to her house she notices that her Daddy's car is in the driveway and she smiles slightly. Her parents are home early! Jesse notices too and so he just drops her off and goes home. Walking into her house she see her dad's sitting in the living room reading the newspaper and watching ESPN. She gives them both big hugs and after they tell her to expect dinner soon she heads to her room to start her homework.

A couple hours later her dad calls her down for dinner. When she gets to the table her belly lets out a loud growl in protest of its emptiness as of late. She eagerly sits and places the napkin in her lap. After blessing the food, she digs in. While plating herself some of the spaghetti she remembers what Jesse had told her and promptly put the helping she had on the spaghetti spoon back and take the smallest Chicken Parmesan and places atop her noodles.

Her fathers' notice but don't say anything, she has gone on some diets before to keep her shape for dance class and think nothing of her small portion. The family eats and talks about their days. Rachel tells them about the Glee performances that they had this week and who won their latest friendly competition. She only eats half of what was on her plate, clears off her spot at the table and goes back up to her room to finish her homework.

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Rachel get up and starts her morning routine. Her bruises are starting to fade on her arms and legs but her ribs and stomach are still a little black and blue. She applies her makeup flawlessly, dresses in a flattering but covering outfit for the day and grabs her things to wait for Jesse on the porch. If she isn't he will get mad, she has to be waiting on him every morning. After grabbing a granola and fruit bar she heads out to the porch to wait. Not even five minutes later Jesse is pulling up and they are heading to the school.

Her day goes by quietly, no one has slushied her today and she is grateful. Noah has been looking at her funny lately but he has always done that since they dated freshman year. She heads to the auditorium like always during lunch. She didn't bring a lunch, she has decided to skip it since Jesse said she had been getting a bit pudgy. She sets her stuff on the bench of the piano that's on the stage and takes her iPod dock out and sets it up to play the chosen song. The music to _Cher's Love Hurts_ starts and she begins her song.

_Love hurts, love scars__  
><em>_Love wounds and mars__  
><em>_Any heart not tough__  
><em>_Or strong enough__  
><em>_Take a lot of pain__  
><em>_Take a lot of pain__  
><em>_Love is like a cloud__  
><em>_And it holds a lot of rain__  
><em>_Love hurts, (ooooo), love hurts__  
><em>_You're young, I know__  
><em>_Baby, what's so__  
><em>_I know a thing or two__  
><em>_Ooo honey, I learned from you__  
><em>_I really learned a lot__  
><em>_I really learned a lot__  
><em>_Love is like a stove__  
><em>_It burns you when it's hot__  
><em>_Love hurts, (ooooo), love hurts__  
><em>_Some fools rave, of happiness__  
><em>_Of blissfulness, togetherness__  
><em>_Oh, some fools,__  
><em>_They fool themselves, I guess__  
><em>_They're not fooling me__  
><em>_And I know it isn't true__  
><em>_God, I know it isn't true__  
><em>_Love is just a lie and it's__  
><em>_Made to make you blue__  
><em>_Love hurts, (ooooo) love hurts__  
><em>_(Ooooo), love hurts__  
><em>_And I know it isn't true__  
><em>_Oh, I know it isn't true__  
><em>_Love is just a lie and it's__  
><em>_Made to make you blue__  
><em>_Cause love hurts__  
><em>_Early in the morning you hurt,__  
><em>_Love hurts, (ooooo), love hurts__  
><em>

Puck sat there and watched her singing her heartbreaking song and wondered if she's so happy, why she would sing this song. He saw the tears in her eyes and how she hastily wiped them away as Jesse entered the auditorium a couple minutes after she was done singing. He watched the interaction and again watched as she curled in on herself with every word that Jesse spat at her. He left after they did as to not draw attention to himself and walked the halls to his next class. He couldn't get the petite brunette out of his mind, he knew something was up and he couldn't figure it out.

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><p><em><strong>So I hope you liked it!<strong>_

_**Please leave some lovin'! See you next week! Unless you read my other story, then Ill see you Monday!**_

_**Love and hugs,**_

_**Jacque**_


	4. Face Down

_**A/N: So here's the new chappie! :)**_

_**First a chapter review I would like to answer...**_

_**Guest reviewer who didn't like the fact that I had glossed over Rachel having an eating disorder; I'm sorry if you don't like it, most people who are in abusive relationships are not just physically abused, it is most often paired with both emotional and mental abuse. Therefore I will have her have a slight eating disorder, but it wont be talked about very much and will be rectified easily.**_

_**Anyways, a lot of you will be happy with what happens in this chapter :) On with the story!**_

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><p>As Puck walks to class a thought hit him like a ton of bricks. He gives himself a mental face palm for not seeing it right away, the way Rachel looks at Jesse was the same way his mother looked his father. The fear is shown in her lifeless brown eyes, the fear he instills in her through black eyes and broken bones. <em>If St. James is putting his hands on her he's a fucking dead man walkin'!<em> Puck thinks as he passes Quinn in the hallway.

"Eh Q!" He calls out to the blonde cheerleader as he turns to face her.

"What Puck?" her icy tone sends a chill down his spine.

"I uh… what would you do if you found out that someone was getting hit by their boyfriend?" he starts, "Even if you hated said person."

"Why" she drawls out. He pulls her to a shadowed section of the hallway and drops his voice. "I think St. Douche hits Berry."

"What! You have to be kidding me, since when do _you_ care about Manhands? And why would you think that, he worships the ground she walks on?"

"Let's just say I have my fuckin reasons ok? And don't call her that, alright?"

"Whatever, if what you're saying is true, I'll chop his balls off. No one, not even Berry, deserves to get hit by someone who is supposed to love her." Quinn's features soften and she starts to think about what Puck had just said. All the signs are there, the new clothes, the obvious pounds of makeup she wears on her face, the way she's way less _Berry-like_ in Glee. Hell the girl doesn't even fight for solos like she used to anymore!

"Q? Hello?" Puck waves his hand in her face to get her attention when he realizes she'd spaced out. As he gets her attention he continues, "Hey I was saying that she just walked in the bathroom looking like she was about to cry, can you put away your icicles and go be nice to her, maybe she'll spill something" he asks as he runs a hand through his Mohawk.

Curiosity gets the better of Quinn, she obliges and heads inside the restroom where Rachel had just entered. She locks the door and walks up behind her.

"Hey" Quinn says softly, looking at Rachel through the mirror. She can see the red-rimmed eyes and if she looks closely she can see the faint purple outline that encased the bottom of her right eye.

"W-what did you want Quinn? Come to draw more pornographic pictures of me on the stalls?" Rachel asks, her tone full of bitterness laced with hurt. It makes Quinn wince slightly when she finally puts the pieces together. When Rachel turns around, she can see that the skin under her right eye is slightly puffier than the left side, indicating that something has indeed happen to the smaller girl. It instantly makes Quinn's features soften and her eyes glisten with unshed tears.

"No, and I'm sorry for that. I know you may not believe me, and I wouldn't if I was in your shoes, but I mean it." The blonde apologizes slowly walking towards the short brunette, "You wanna talk about why you look like someone kicked your puppy?"

"No," Rachel says quickly, turning back around to the mirror and reapplying her makeup, "I'm content, I appreciate your sincere apology and I forgive you."

Quinn looks as if she had gown another head. "How can you just forgive me like that? I made your life hell for years and in 5 minutes you can accept my apology and forgive me?"

"Life is too short to harbor ill feelings towards someone who is willing to recognize the many years of antagonizing and torture they have bestowed upon someone and apologize to the person they have hurt numerous times in the past, plus I've never been good with holding a grudge."

"Here, let me" Quinn offers, grabbing the makeup sponge and dabbing at Rachel's skin lightly. She doesn't miss the light wince that came when she presses on the skin under her eye. As Quinn helps Rachel clean herself up she softly sings a song she hopes help the brunette see what Finn was doing is wrong.

_She looks at the clock; it's a quarter past nine._

_She hears his car as he pulls in the drive._

_Dinner's still waiting from hours before._

_She knows he's been drinking when he walks through the door._

_In anger he strikes out and she starts to cry._

_How much more can she take, how much more can she lie._

_And she fell down the stair again._

_But it hasn't happened since she don't know when._

_Was it in spring when she packed up the kids? _

_Or maybe in winter with his job on the skids._

_Oh but just like before she'll have to pretend that she fell down the stairs again._

_A short time ago, she started a job, serving chicken fried steak and corn on the cob._

_She started out shy, but she ended up sure, that a ticket to anywhere could be the cure._

_But he couldn't handle her change for the better._

_She tried to leave him, but he wouldn't let her._

_He says he's sorry, he'd never mean it._

_He swears it won't happen again._

_But she's so confused, she wants to believe it._

_She just wants this nightmare to end._

_And she fell down the stair again._

_But it hasn't happened since she don't know when._

_Was it in spring when she packed up the kids?_

_Or maybe in winter with his job on the skids._

_Oh but just like before she'll have to pretend that she fell down the stairs again_

As Quinn sings Rachel can tell that Quinn didn't believe her when she had told her she was fine. The words in the song could not have fit Rachel's situation more perfectly, and that scares her. She fights back tears, she can't give Quinn anymore reasons to think something was up. She cannot risk Jesse finding out about this, it'll just give him another reason to hurt her and she doesn't want that. "Thanks Quinn, you didn't have to do this." Rachel thanks her.

"It's what friends are for right?" the blonde asks, hopeful that Rachel will open up.

Rachel gazes at her like she's speaking gibberish. "Y-you want to be friends w-with me?" she really can't believe what Quinn's saying right now.

"If you'll have me as a friend, then yes." Quinn smiles sweetly at her.

"I'd like that," and for the first time in months Rachel gives Quinn a genuine smile and hugs the blonde tightly around the waist. She can't believe that after all this, she finally has a friend.

"Good! Puck is waiting outside for us. He's actually the one who sent me in here. He looked pretty worried about you when he saw you run in here."

"Really? I don't believe it, Noah doesn't like me, and he can barely stand to be in my presence during Glee. He says and I quote that I 'make him want to light his skin on fire'. I can hardly fathom that he is concerned for my well-being." Rachel says. Skeptical at the statement the blonde had just revealed to her, however, the thought that someone, Noah, was afflicted with her current state made her feel blissful. Wait, did she just use the words Noah and blissful in the same thought? Did she have romantic feelings towards the resident batboy?

"Yea, he thinks you don't look like your _crazy-berry_ self" Quinn giggles as she helps Rachel gather her things. "Want me to tell him to get lost?" Rachel nods, she can't talk to him right now, and she can't believe she's feeling these things towards Noah. "Ok, Ill text him right now and then we can leave," Quinn gets her phone out and sends him a text.

_*hey shes ok but doesn't want 2 talk, u r right about Jesse she has a black eye u can't c it w/all the makeup but it's there – Q* She_ gets a reply a few seconds later.

_*hes a fuckin dead man – P*_

_*Don't do anything stupid puck think of R – Q* _

She doesn't get a response after that and hopes that Puck will heed her warning and try to talk to Rachel before doing anything to Jesse. She and Rachel leave the bathroom and head to their respective classes.

Rachel sits stiffly throughout the rest of her classes. Not only because she and Quinn just had a very awkward moment in the restroom earlier, but because she thinks that Quinn known about Jesse and what he is doing to her. The song she sang lightly in the bathroom wasn't a song Rachel thought someone would readily listen to, let alone know the song word for word. It scares Rachel because if someone knows then they could confront Jesse and Rachel knows that it will not be a good ending to the day if Jesse suspects that someone knows. She also fears that Noah knows, and if what Quinn told her is true, that he's concerned for her. It's what she's wanted all along, for someone to care about her-for Noah to care about her. She tried so hard to get him to notice her and now that he has, she doesn't know what to do. She can't let him confront Jesse, he'll kill him and then come after her. She can't just tell Puck that everything's okay because he won't believe her. She has no idea what she's going to do about this mess. She's fretful the rest of the day, even more than she usually is if that's possible.

Jesse knows her fathers are once again out of town and that means she's free game. The bills are always paid, food's always readily available for her, and if she needs anything they put the money required for the purchase in her bank account. She was always happy when her father's left, it gave her time to think and to learn how to be responsible. That was until she was on the receiving end of Jesse's rage, now she dreads it when they left town.

During the times her fathers are away Jesse reassures them that he'll watch over her until it's time for her to retreat to her bedroom each night. They love Jesse and they trust him, so why question his intentions? It's then that Rachel begins to hate her fathers. Why would they trust a seventeen-year-old boy to look out for his girlfriend and not do anything risky? Even if they had no idea about the abuse she endured, weren't they worried they'd have sex? What if she ended up pregnant because they weren't around? Then what would happen? It's thoughts like these that have Rachel dreading the end of every day.

Her anxiety lessens a bit during Glee, music has that effect on her. So when Sam and the rest of New Directions sing _Red Solo Cup_, she joins in and she temporarily forgets the pain she's in, physically and emotionally. The pleasant feeling she has during the song quickly fades when Puck asks to sing a song. A nervous feeling settles in her stomach and her palms begin to sweat.

Puck raises his hand, "Mr. Schue, I have a song too." The teacher looks at him and nods, Puck gets up and whispers to the band the song and is grateful when they all nod in agreement. He grabs an electric guitar and the music starts, his gazed never left the couple sitting in the far right corner. Quinn was sitting right next to Rachel and is on the receiving end of Santana's dagger sending glare.

_Hey, girl, you know you drive me crazy_

_One look puts the rhythm in my hand._

_Still I'll never understand why you hang around_

_I see what's going down._

_Cover up with makeup in the mirror_

_Tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again_

_You cry alone and then he swears he loves you._

_Do you feel like a man when you push her around?_

_Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?_

_Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end_

_As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found._

_A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect_

_Every action in this world will bear a consequence_

_If you wade around forever, you will surely drown_

_I see what's going down._

_I see the way you go and say you're right again,_

_Say you're right again_

_Heed my lecture._

_Do you feel like a man when you push her around?_

_Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?_

_Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end_

_As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found._

_Face down in the dirt, she said,_

_"This doesn't hurt", she said,_

_"I finally had enough."_

_One day she will tell you that she has had enough_

_It's coming round again. _

_Do you feel like a man when you push her around?_

_Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?_

_Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end_

_As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found._

_Face down in the dirt, she said,_

_"This doesn't hurt", she said,_

_"I finally had enough."_

As the song ends Jesse face turns beat red. Rachel looks pale and isn't even trying to cover the fear in her eyes as she looks at Puck. Luckily, no one else sees her face.

"Well, uh Puck that was… interesting" Will says as Puck takes his seat behind Quinn and Rachel. Rachel doesn't move for the rest of Glee, Jesse watching her intently. As soon as they are dismissed, Rachel's pulled out the door by Jesse leaving Quinn and Puck to look at each other with suspicion. They hang back until everyone is gone before making their move.

"So you're sure about what you saw?" Puck hisses.

"Yea, she's wearing, like a pound of makeup but if you look closely you can see that her skin is tinted a different color around her eye," she sighs, "What are we gonna do? We can't let her stay with him, hell we can't let him stay here!" She stands up frustrated, running a hand through her blonde hair.

"You don't think I fucking know that?" Puck tenses, "He's hitting my Rachel!" As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets it. He sighs heavily and rolls his eyes awaiting the questions he was undoubtedly going to get from her.

"_Your_ Rachel?" Quinn questions, her eyebrow arched perfectly to match the smirk on her face. "Since when did she become yours?" she asks, before her smirk turns into a smile and she figured it out. "Oh my god, you like her!" she squeals.

"No I don't!" he lies. "I didn't mean it, god Fabray you read into things too much."

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't have some feeling for Rachel!" she dares, looking in his hazel eyes. He stays silent. "That's what I thought," she smiles smugly and starts to saunter out of the room, "Well are you coming or not? I'm gonna go help my friend leave her shithead boyfriend. I'll need some help." Puck grabs his bag slings it over his shoulder and followed her out, intent on maiming the asshole. You _never_ put your hands on a girl that shit aint kosher!

As he drives Quinn to Rachel's house after dropping off her car at her house, he contemplates calling Mike, Matt, and Sam to help, but decides against it. Rachel probably doesn't even know that he and Quinn know, and most likely didn't want anyone else to know either. If she did, she would tell someone right? No, she wouldn't. He remembers how his mom had kept it a huge secret when his asshole father starting hitting her, she was ashamed of it. They pull up to the driveway and park next to Jesse's car. As they get out they can hear him screaming and things breaking. It only takes them a second to react, both of them running up to her front door and barging through it. Puck found Rachel instantly, she's cowering in a corner of the living room and Jesse is towering over her with his back to them. He can already see the split lip she dawns before Puck sees red.

"How did _he _find out, Rachel?" Finn screamed, "I fucking told you not to tell_ anyone_! Are you that fucking dumb, that you can't even do one simple thing?" he shrieks.

Rachel sits with her knees pulled to her chest and neither of them notices the audience they now have. Puck looks to Quinn before lunging at Jesse and knocking him to the ground.

"The fuck is your problem St. James, you don't fucking hit girls!" Puck shouted as he holds Jesse to the ground while Quinn takes a shaking Rachel up to her room.

Rachel tries to fight Quinn's grasp, "Noah stop, it's my fault I messed up! He told me to be careful and I wasn't!" she calls, "Noah let him go!" She can't let Puck get hurt over something she did, Jesse is her problem, not anyone else's. No one deserves to suffer the pain she does. "Quinn unhand me!" Rachel screams, thrashing around in the blonde's arms.

Quinn makes no move to let the brunette go, instead she leans to her and quietly says, "Rachel, no matter what you did you don't deserve the fat lip-"she was interrupted by Puck.

"Are you fucking serious right now Berry!" he starts as he pins Jesse to the ground easily, "Dudes don't hit girls, end of fucking story! What Jesse St. Douchebag did to you aint kosher and I'm not gonna let him continue to wail on you like a punching bag!" Rachel can feel her eyes sting with tears and her legs slowly turn to jelly as Quinn leads her up the stairs to her room and locks the door behind them.

As the girls left the room Puck starts wailing on Jesse. Only letting up when Quinn comes back down per Rachel's request and drags him off of the bloodied singer. "Jesse, I think it's time you leave. Leave Rachel and leave McKinley. Once they find out about this, they won't want you there either." She states calmly even though she is wanting to hit him just as much as Puck had. "NOW!"

"She is _my _girlfriend, this is _her_ house. You can't tell me to leave, and she won't so fuck off man!" he counters as he rises to his feet and begins towards the stairs, but is blocked by both Quinn and Puck. "Move out of my way Puck I want to talk to my _girlfriend_."

"You don't have a girlfriend anymore St. James. I suggest you take Q's advice and fucking go before I make you." Puck growls.

"Rachel, get the fuck out here now!" Finn demands as Rachel slowly opens the door. As soon as they hear it creak open, both Quinn and Puck look towards it. Quinn bounds up the stairs and pushes her back in the room and relocks the door. She can't believe that after all of this, she's still trying to go back to Finn.

"Jesse, I highly suggest you fucking leave now! You have no right to be here anymore and I'm sure you won't be welcomed after the Berry daddies find out what you have been doing to their daughter," Puck crossed his arms over his chest and stares down Jesse.

The taller boy doesn't move, instead he cradles his nose, which had been bleeding indicating that it was broken and stares at Puck. After about thirty seconds Puck sighs, realizing that this guy wasn't giving up and grabs Jesse by the shirt, forcefully removing him from the house. Once outside Puck let's go of Jesse and warns him, "If I see you even look at Rachel again so help me god I will kill you St. James, you hit a girl and that doesn't fly straight with me. You need to leave and never come back." With that Puck turns around, walks in the house, and locks the front door behind him. He knows he should call the police and have Jesse arrested, but he can't bring himself to do anything before making sure his girl is okay first.

Upstairs in Rachel's room the girls are talking. Rachel is crying on her bed with her head hidden in her knees, her arms wrapped tightly around them. She won't stop whimpering and Quinn doesn't know how to help the poor girl.

After fifteen minutes Quinn decides that she needs a hot shower to calm her down. "Rach, I think you could use a warm shower, don't you think?" She asks, putting a light hand on her shoulder, frowning when the smaller girl flinched away from her.

Rachel nods her agreement, refusing to speak to the girl and slowly gets up from the bed, pulling her shirt over her head. Quinn gasps at the bruises and cuts on her abdomen. Rachel's too zoned out and it doesn't register with her that Quinn has now seen them.

There's a light knock on the door and Quinn gets up quickly to answer it as Rachel stands in front of the mirror and looks at herself, tears still streaming down her face causing her vision to blur. When Quinn answers the door she gives Puck a worried look. She doesn't know what to make of the cuts on the girl's body. She knows they're self-inflicted, she's read about that sort of stuff before. She doesn't want to tell Puck about them because she knows he'll flip his shit, but he pushes into the room.

"Rach-," it was all he can get out before he finds the girl wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her head in his chest. Soft sobs wrack her small frame and she trembles in his arms. He didn't say anything, just wraps his arms around her shoulders and rubs small circles in her back. Quinn hugs Rachel from the back and they stand there for a solid 5 minutes before Quinn suggests the shower again. Hesitantly Rachel let's go of Puck, "I'll be right downstairs Berry, go get cleaned up and Quinn will help you pack an overnight bag." Rachel and Quinn both gave him a quizzical look. "What? You think I'm gonna leave you here alone so wife beater can come back and finish? _Hell _no!" Quinn nods and Rachel's lips turn ever so slightly up in a smile. He leaves the room and went downstairs to try and clear the image of a beaten and broken Rachel out of his mind.

Rachel pads into her en suite bathroom and continues to undress and shower. She stands under the hot water after washing herself, until it turns cold. Her entire body aches and she's scared half to death. She knows Jesse will be back, there's no doubting that. He won't stop until he gets his revenge and she knows she'll pay for it with her life.

She gets out and wraps a towel around her before she walks out to her room. Quinn's sitting on her bed reading a textbook and scribbling out notes in her notebook, offering a small smile to the broken girl. Rachel makes her way to her closet and pulls on a pair of yoga pants, a white cami, and a grey hoodie before exiting the closet and pulling her hair into a messy, wet bun on top of her head. "Quinn?"

The blonde looked up from her homework, "Yea Rach?"

"I guess I'm ready to go," she states, grabbing a bag from under her bed and placing it on top of it. Quinn packs up her things and begins helping Rachel pick out an outfit for tomorrow while Rachel grabs a pair of pajamas and placed them in the bag. "No skirts," she said softly, "or short sleeves."

"Ok Rach, no problem." Quinn smiles sweetly, understanding the reasons behind the outfit restrictions. As the girls finish packing the bag Rachel pulls Quinn in for a hug. "Thank you so much," she whispers. Letting go of Quinn Rachel grabs the overnight bag, her backpack, purse, and iPod off the dock and heads downstairs ready to leave it behind. To leave _all _of it behind.

After dropping off Quinn at her house the pair drive in silence to Puck's house. He'd called his mom while Rachel was in the shower to ask if it was ok if she stayed over. His mom was hesitant at first, but after hearing a vague story of what happened she readily agreed, she also told him that after tonight, if Rachel and her father's allow it, he could stay with her at her house. She stated that Rachel might feel more comfortable there than in someone else's house. He pulled in the driveway and parked the truck. When he looks over at Rachel, she looks completely broken.

_How could someone think that this is okay? This was definitely not okay, not even in the same fucking ballpark as okay!_

They walk into the house and he tells her that she'll be taking his room and that he will have the couch. "Noah?" her voice is so soft and small he barely hears it, "Yea, babe?" He's depositing her stuff in his room and he stops to look at her.

"Stay with me?" she asks hesitantly, "Please," it comes out as a whisper, but it's all he needs to surrender.

He pulls her to his chest and wraps his arms around her, "I'm not going anywhere Rach, not even if you tell me to fuck off." She pulls away from him enough to look at him, a smile playing at her lips, a real and totally Rachel Berry smile albeit small, but still the same.

After cooking dinner for his sister and Rachel, _badasses can fucking cook, _the pair goes up to his room. He gently helps her out of her clothes and into her pajamas, ignoring the voice screaming in his head when he sees her cuts and bruises again. He holds her tight and kisses her head softly before helping her into bed and following behind. She lays her head on his chest while he hums _Sweet Caroline_ to her until her breathes even out, signifying she's asleep. It's the first time in _months _since she's been able to sleep peacefully and she realizes it's because she feels safe. Noah makes her feel safe and protected and she never wants that to end. It's the first time in weeks that she hasn't cut or even thought about it.

He looks at the small smile on her lips as she sleeps and promises that he will do whatever it takes to keep his girl safe. It's only then that he allows himself to drift off holding her tightly to him.

* * *

><p><strong><em>So? Any good?<em>**

**_Let me know in the reviews or a PM next chapter should be up next Friday!_**

**_Love and Hugs,_**

**_Jacque_**


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